The Self Directed Homeschooler

This post is meant as an encouragement for anyone who has a younger homeschooled son or daughter who doesn't want to learn or resists doing lessons.

My son, Jess, is now 14. He is an only child and we have always homeschooled - first in New Mexico and now in Virginia. I'm divorced. He lives with me.

If you've ever read my article about homeschooling (its on the home page of my homeschool website), you have read that Stanford and several other top schools actively recruit homeschool students because they have maturity, self-reliance, and self direction that is hard to find in publicly educated students.

I used to read those words and compare it with what we were experiencing at home. It was like pulling teeth to get him to study. "Doing" school was really a struggle and certain subjects caused so much tension and stress for both of us that we ended up having to get a tutor. I literally thought my kid just didn't fit the "norm" of the self-directed homeschooler. I love him and felt obliged to accept him the way he is - even if that meant he was not very self directed or driven to succeed. Since I'm extremely driven, it wasn't always easy.

Then I took him to Fiji and we lived aboard a yacht for 6 weeks. He was given crewing duties and was expected to do the work asked of him. He was only 11 and I was very proud of how he completed his tasks and took to sea life. While on the trip, he was introduced to the show, The Big Bang Theory, and the topic of physics. He became almost obsessed with the subject. 

He has now decided that he wants to be a physicist and for the last year and a half or so, he has been completely self directed. He has taken up studying Latin completely on his own, as well as high school chemistry and biology. He reads books about physics and watches tons of science documentaries. He assigns himself lessons and spends hours each day completing them.

The change I have seen in my son borders on the miraculous. I don't think you have to take them to an island or to live on a boat. I think you just have to expose them to enough things that they can find the one that turns on the light and makes them excited to learn. 

I feel the greatest things we can give our children is love, appreciation, assistance with high self esteem, and help in discovering their gifts and interests. Then it seems we can just get out of the way and let them shine - whether its as an artist or an astronaut.

Have a fabulous day,

Takara

Bestselling author of Peering Through the Veil: The Step by Step Guide to Meditation and Inner Peace